Lead Like a Coach: Stop Solving Everyone’s Problems

Imagine one of your team members comes to you after a frustrating meeting with marketing and asks you to intervene. What would you do?

When deadlines are tight and the pressure is on, it can be tempting to swoop in, take over, and smooth things out yourself. I’ve done that more times than I care to admit. Eventually, I realized that every time I solved the problem myself, I was inadvertently training people to bring me more issues rather than strengthening their own problem-solving muscles.

Effective leaders know that the fastest answer isn’t always the best answer. Often, the most powerful thing you can do is slow down, ask questions, and lead with a coaching mindset.

What is a coaching mindset? The International Coaching Federation describes it as open, curious, flexible, and centered on the person being coached and the situation at hand. Think curiosity over control and development over direction.

In his best-selling book, “The Coaching Habit,” author Michael Bungay Stanier argues that leading with a coaching mindset reduces your workload, increases your impact, and helps break three problematic cycles: creating overdependence, becoming overwhelmed, and growing disconnected from the people you lead.

As the old proverb suggests, it’s like teaching people to fish. For leaders already vulnerable to perfectionism and burnout, constantly rescuing others can become exhausting. Coaching empowers people in the moment, equips them with tools for future success, and builds leadership capacity across an organization.

The 7 essential questions

In “The Coaching Habit,” Stanier offers seven essential questions to help leaders navigate conversations without immediately jumping into problem-solving:

1. What’s on your mind?
2. And what else?
3. What’s the real challenge here for you?
4. What do you want?
5. How can I help?
6. If you say yes to this, what are you saying no to?
7. What was most useful for you?

Earlier this year, Joseph A. Brennan, APR, Fellow PRSA, and I — both longtime communicators turned certified executive coaches — led a session at the PRSA Counselors to Higher Education Senior Summit on this topic. We challenged about 50 chief communicators from colleges and universities across the country to set aside their natural problem-solving instincts and practice a coaching mindset.

This is a group of people who solve problems the way the rest of us breathe. Crisis management and rapid-fire decision-making are part of the job. Given the demands of their roles, they’re often moving quickly. So rather than talking about a coaching mindset, we asked them to practice one.

We invited them to consider the following scenario, which has applicability far beyond higher education:

Your once high-performing social media manager has withdrawn. Her work quality is slipping, she’s taking more sick days, and she’s quiet in meetings. She’s feeling pressure from various departments, overwhelmed by AI and production demands, and stung by criticism. You’ve noticed increased LinkedIn activity, and you’re concerned she may be disengaging or job searching. What do you do?

Participants role-played in pairs. One person played the supervisor and the other the social media manager, who was given carte blanche to embellish details, throw curveballs, or add whatever complexity would make the scenario feel real.

Joe and I were blown away by how these leaders paused, led with curiosity, and practiced active listening, using Stanier’s seven questions as their guide.

In many cases, the social media manager simply needed to feel seen. Instead of making assumptions or skirting the issue, supervisors used coaching skills to strengthen the relationship, develop their colleague, and create more sustainable solutions.

Every problem doesn’t require a solution from the boss.

Sometimes the most helpful thing a leader can do is resist the urge to rescue. Sometimes team members simply want to gut-check their thinking. Sometimes they need a safe space to vent. Sometimes they need to know you have their back and are in their corner — not that you’re willing to step into the ring and fight every battle for them.

After all, being helpful and being indispensable are not the same thing. 

Watching these role-play scenarios was a powerful reminder that leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about creating the conditions for others to think, grow, and solve problems themselves.

The best leaders are measured not by how many problems they solve themselves, but by how many people they help grow. Leaders who ask powerful questions build capacity and prepare others to lead. Those who hand out answers build dependence.

This week, before offering advice, I invite you to try asking a question that cannot be answered with a yes or a no and requires some thought. You might be surprised by how often people already have the answer. They just need someone who believes they can find it.