Why Person-to-Person Conversation Is Your Superpower

Communication professionals have never had more ways to communicate. We text, email, post, comment, direct message, video conference, collaborate on Slack, and increasingly interact with AI-powered assistants. 

Yet despite this abundance of communication channels, new research suggests we may be losing one of our most important professional skills: person-to-person conversation.

A recent study published in Perspectives on Psychological Science found that Americans are speaking nearly 30% fewer words per day than they did two decades ago.

Researchers analyzed audio recordings from more than 2,000 people across 22 studies and found that daily spoken words declined from approximately 16,600 words per day in 2005 to about 11,900 words per day in 2019. In other words, we are talking less.

AI chatbots and digital assistants are beginning to replace interactions that once required another human being. In retail stores and pharmacies, self-checkout kiosks have replaced exchanges with cashiers. Food delivery apps have eliminated conversations with restaurant staff. Earbuds discourage spontaneous interactions. Remote and hybrid work environments have reduced the informal conversations that once occurred in hallways, elevators and break rooms.

The shift is especially visible within the PR profession itself. Our profession is built on relationships, trust, influence and credibility. While technology has made communication faster and more efficient, many of the interactions that once allowed us to practice the art of conversation have quietly disappeared.

Not long ago, media relations often involved phone calls, newsroom visits, lunches and ongoing conversations with reporters. Today, many pitches are delivered through email, direct messages, online media databases and automated pitching platforms. 

While these tools have increased efficiency and scale, they have also reduced opportunities for the spontaneous conversations that once helped communicators build trust and long-term relationships with journalists.

Technology has made it easier to send a pitch. It has not necessarily made it easier to build a relationship. The most successful PR professionals understand that relationships are still built person to person. A well-crafted email may open the door, but meaningful conversations are often what move a relationship forward. 

As more communication becomes transactional and digital, the ability to engage in authentic dialogue becomes an even greater professional advantage. And researchers are increasingly sounding the alarm that we are forgetting how to talk with each other. 

The human skills behind professional success

Conversation is often dismissed as small talk or social nicety. In practice, it is where many of our most important professional skills are developed. Conversation teaches us how to listen, ask better questions, read emotional cues, build rapport, navigate disagreement and establish trust.

No chatbot can fully replicate the subtle signals exchanged between two people in a face-to-face conversation. A chatbot does not challenge us to read body language, manage awkward silences, or demonstrate empathy. Those skills are developed through human interaction.

This matters because public relations professionals are not simply distributors of information. We are builders of relationships with journalists, clients, stakeholders, influencers, employees and suppliers. And every one of those relationships begins with a conversation.

Why professionals feel uncomfortable with networking

As an executive communication coach, I hear a common concern from clients across industries. They are comfortable presenting to a room of 500 people, leading meetings and participating in conference panels. 

Yet many become anxious when faced with a networking reception, industry conference, wedding, fundraising gala, or professional event where they know few or no people.

The fear is remarkably consistent:

“What do I say?”

“How do I start a conversation?”

“What if it’s awkward?”

The irony is that the less we practice conversation, the more intimidating it becomes. It is not a talent reserved for extroverts but a skill that improves with use. In today’s environment, it may be one of the most important professional skills we can reclaim.

Four ways to rebuild your conversation muscle

1. Talk to the person standing alone. At your next event, conference or reception, look for the person standing by themselves. You might assume that the individual wants to be left alone, but more often they are quietly hoping someone will start a conversation. A simple introduction can transform someone’s experience and create a valuable professional connection.
2. Put your phone away. One of the greatest barriers to conversation is the smartphone. We reach for it while waiting in line, riding elevators, sitting at airports, or standing alone at events. These moments once created opportunities for spontaneous interactions. Challenge yourself to leave your phone in your pocket and engage with the people around you.
3. Ask one more question. Curiosity is one of the most powerful communication tools available. Conversations might end prematurely because we stop asking questions. Instead of moving on, ask one more. It may lead to a story angle, a professional connection, or a business lead.
4. Start the conversation you would normally avoid. One of the most rewarding conversations I’ve ever had began with a simple question on an airplane. I noticed the woman sitting next to me was reading a novel and asked if it was any good. She smiled and replied, “I wrote it.”

As it turned out, she was a world-renowned crime novelist. What began as a casual question evolved into a fascinating exchange that led to an enduring friendship. Memorable conversations start with ordinary moments and simple curiosity.

Conversation is becoming a competitive advantage.

The communication profession has always adapted to technological change. We embraced email, social media, video conferencing, and now artificial intelligence. Yet amid all this innovation, one truth remains unchanged: People trust people.

In a world increasingly mediated by screens, algorithms and automation, those who can build authentic human connections will have a distinct advantage. The ability to walk into a physical room, introduce yourself, ask thoughtful questions, listen actively, and make others feel seen and heard is becoming rarer, and more valuable.

The research showing a decline in everyday conversation should concern all of us because conversation is the foundation upon which so many professional relationships are built. 

As communicators, our challenge is not simply to communicate more, but to do it with our voices, face-to-face, and in person. Because while technology can help us exchange information, only conversation can create true connection. ϖ

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