7 Tips for Telling Personal Stories

Last month, I talked about the power of personal stories to captivate and compel the people you most need to influence. 

These are stories drawn from your own experience. Stories that will resonate with your audience because they resonate with you.

I also offered a simple process for “auditing” your experience to build an inventory of stories for practically every occasion.

Of course, as we all know, it’s not just what we say, but how we say it. So here are some tips for delivering your personal stories for maximum impact.

1. Give it time.

When telling a personal story, especially one tinged with emotion, make sure you’ve had the time and space necessary to process it first. 

There’s nothing wrong with showing emotion — that’s a compelling rhetorical technique. But you also want to make sure you don’t fully lose control, particularly in a business situation.

Your best friends will understand and support you; your colleagues might feel uncomfortable.

Which gets us to our next point.

2. Practice your story.

By practicing I mean out loud and on your feet. I’ve talked about the importance of this in preparing presentations and it’s just as important for storytelling.

The repetition of practicing aloud helps you better process your story. As you tell it, imagine the intended audience is right there in front of you. Picture their expressions and reactions.

Locate and be aware of any tough emotional moments and think about how you can navigate through or around them. Maybe you pull back on certain details.

Practicing it out loud also helps you discover the rhythms and nuance of the story and eliminate extraneous details. Speaking of which… 

3. Cut the chaff.

When telling a personal story, it’s especially hard to avoid getting bogged down in unnecessary detail. Because it happened to us it all feels important!

But those details may not be as important to your audience. So as with any communication, think first and foremost about their needs. What’s vital to them? Let that be your filter.

Next, avoid the twists and turns — the tangents and asides that aren’t central to the purpose and meaning of the story. 

As I often say, picture your story as a tree. You want to stick to the trunk and avoid getting tangled in the branches and twigs.

4. Internalize it.

Resist the temptation to memorize your story word-for-word. Unless you’re a trained performer, it won’t come across as authentic.

Instead, internalize it. That means practicing it in your head over and over as you go about your day — walking the dog, doing the dishes, folding laundry. 

You may tell it differently every time, and that’s OK. Again, you’re not memorizing the specific words; you’re internalizing the beats and the flow.

Do this enough and telling it aloud for an audience will feel like second nature. You won’t be inwardly focused, with the wheels visibly turning in your head as you try to remember what comes next.

5. Relive the moment.

Try to “experience” the story as you tell it. So, you’re not just reciting it, you’re living it.

Where were you when it happened? What did you see? Who were you with? How did you feel?

6. Connect with the audience.

On the other hand, as you relive the moment make sure you don’t completely vacate the premises! Make eye contact with your audience. Focus especially on a few friendly faces in different locations. Feed off their reactions.

7. Keep it together.

If you do get choked up, then take a breath and take a moment. In fact, be sure to breathe throughout — we tend to hold our breath in tense situations.

You can also try this “cheat” I would sometimes use in my acting career: Bite the inside of your cheek.

Finally, remember this: People want to be informed and entertained, so your audience is rooting for you to succeed. Thinking of them as allies instead of adversaries could help calm your nerves, put you at ease and get the result you’re looking for.